https://stream.org/my-encounter-with-anxiety/
iSTock.com/AaronAmatFor years after my husband and I were married, the enemy tormented me with fear that something bad would happen to him. Once we had children, this fear grew.
I tried rationalizing this fear by telling myself it was a normal part of being a spouse or parent; but deep down I knew something was not right. Sometimes when my husband would leave our home to go to work, I feared he would get into a car accident. Or thoughts of “What if this is the last time I see him?” would plague my mind. Before I knew it, I was planning how I was going to be a widowed, single mom for the rest of my life. Other times, as I was putting my kids to bed, I would get plagued with thoughts such as, “What if they don’t wake up tomorrow?” “What if something bad happens to them and they stop breathing in the middle of the night?” “What if they get up in the middle of the night and fall down the stairs?”
My anxiety grew to the point where I realized something needed to break through it. So I did what I knew best – I cried out to God.
The amazing thing about our heavenly Father is that He is in the business of redemption. He is in the business of setting the captives free. Referring to Jesus, Luke 4:18-19 says,
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Secure in His Love
Jesus wants us to live in the freedom He purchased for us with His own blood. As I processed through my fears with God, He revealed that the anxiety I was feeling was rooted in my insecurity about His love for me. You see, I knew God loved me. But I was insecure about what my life would become if He allowed tragedy to take place.
As I processed through this with the Lord, He reminded me that when He called me to follow Him He was the only One I had, literally. For months, my whole world consisted of Him and me. The Lord reminded me that when I had no one, and nothing, He was enough to provide for me. He was enough to take care of me. And He was enough to protect me.
The Bible talks about how God’s perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). The desire of God’s heart is for us to live in His perfect love. We can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our Father has our back, He goes before us, and He prepares the way. His goodness surrounds us. His shield protects us. When we have full assurance of God’s love for us and know His grace will cover us regardless of our situation, Satan won’t be able to get in and plant thoughts of fear and doubt in our minds. That door will be secure, and we are assured of God’s love for us. God led me to stand on a Bible verse I continue to stand on today: “I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken” (Ps. 16:8).
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